07.09.2008

Help me improve my text life

Dear Aunties,

My boyfriend wants me to talk dirty to him by SMS! I don't even know where to begin. Got any pointers?

Alison (17), Kentucky, US
P.S. What does IWFUA mean?
08.09.2008
Dear Alison,

"Cock" is a textonym of "anal". Hope that helps.

I don't know what IWFUA means. Perhaps "I would fuck U assuredly", "It works for us adults" or "In Wales, farmers use aftershave".

24.09.2008
Dear Alison,

Your boyfriend may be slightly more 'alternative' than you think.

IWFUA can mean a number of things.

Normally:

"I Wank [off (or indeed, 'off to' which would be marginally better)] Fucking Ugly Apes"

But sometimes:

"I Want Fudgey UnderArms" - have you ever seen Splosh magazine? You might want to get hold of a copy for him.

Also:

"I'm Waiting For Uncle Alfie" (What was the context? Does he want to play incest games?)

The final interpretation to be possibly extrapolated from such a nonsensical string of characters is as follows:

"I fuckin love text sex and I'm cumin as I text so can't type any more"

Good luck!

GHALKJDSFGY

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