tearing hair out
05.10.2008

I see dead people

Dear Aunties,

I see seven ill tempered Victorian sisters walking around my sixteenth floor flat in Central London, with axes. I'm also prone to severe depression and crazy spending sprees. What do you think I should do?

Jess (24), London, UK
05.10.2008
Dear Jess,

It sounds as though the seven sisters were hacked to death by a crazed woodcutter. Sadly a lot of that went on in the 19th century. They will continue to haunt the scene of the crime unless you take action.

Without a doubt you should get an exorcism. Genuine exorcists are hard to come by so you'll need me to set you up with one for a 200% finders fee.

Do not accept psychiatric intervention. The drugs could make you so drowsy that you won't even notice an axe wielding nutter until the blade of her hatchet is embedded in your skull.

In the meantime, there is no need to vacate your flat.

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