cannibal attack
"Will evil girlfriend eat my best mate?"
14.10.2008

Best friend is dating a cannibal

Dear Aunties,

My best friend is going out with a cannibal. I know this because I've seen her nibble on a child and throw its remains into a bone pit beneath their house.

I've tried to accept his decision but I just can't. However if I tell him, he might hate me but if I don't, he might get smothered in tomato ketchup and gobbled for breakfast.

What does the bible suggest I should do?

Georgina (24), Lincolnshire, UK
18.10.2008
Dear Georgina,

I don't know about the bible but I think you should definitely tell him. He will immediately dump her and then thank you for pointing out the error of his ways. That is always exactly what happens when you try and interfere in your friends' dating matters.

Alternatively you could smother him in marmite. It tastes revolting.

More Answered Problems
30.12.2009

How long before I get over my first love?

- Chloe (16), Taunton, UK
30.12.2009

I want to get a nose job to please my man

- Angel (21), Berkshire, UK
30.12.2009

I just feel so neglected

- Boopi (58), Barnstaple
30.12.2009

I wonder if my relationship problems ...

- Rocky (32), Stockwell
09.11.2009

How do I apologise to him?

- Arial (13), Calafornia
09.11.2009

Should I cut off my penis?

- Phil (12), Ohio
09.11.2009

Dream Help

- Arial
18.04.2009

How to succeed as a singer

- Moll (47), Cardiff, UK
17.04.2009

I found out he was a killer and shagged him anyway

- Rachel (19), Birmingham, UK
17.04.2009

Guilt over nanna's death

- confused (12)
Unanswered Problems
08.10.2009

Parents won't let me go to Prague

- Emily (14), NZ
18.07.2009

Are all men vain, or is it just me?

- Ashli (22), Nether Wallop
18.07.2009

Women walk all over me

- Matt (53), Glossop
18.07.2009

Puzzled and holey

- Puflet (48), Rivington
02.07.2009

I just can't seem to find a good man

- Abigail (25), Ambleside, Cumbria
02.07.2009

How to avoid falling for boyfriend's mates

- Jane (17), Diss, Norfolk
Recent Activity (...)
Vatasha Rupert replied to I just feel so neglected
Mrs Ginger replied to I just feel so neglected
Vatasha Rupert replied to I wonder if my relationship problems ...
Jayne Fott replied to How do I apologise to him?
Jayne Fott replied to Should I cut off my penis?
Brad the Lad replied to Should I cut off my penis?
Psychic Psindy replied to Dream Help
Frog_Kisser2000 commented on I'm in love with a sim

Agony Aunties
Mrs Ginger
Just wants what's best
33 responses
Auntie Kaitlin
American to the core
27 responses
Brad the Lad
Charm is his middle name
19 responses
Jayne Fott
Psychologist
19 responses
Professor Tommy
Practical & sympathetic
18 responses
Psychic Psindy
Mystical
13 responses
Uncle Luke
Talents yet to be unfolded
13 responses
Vatasha Rupert
Trendy and bendy
12 responses
Auntie Richbob
Retired
7 responses
Judge Gaw
Budding lawyer
4 responses
Dr Alice
Trainee medical student
2 responses

Models
Louise Anderson-Clemence
First rate model
Model with digitally removed breasts
Unnamed
Model with digitally removed breasts
With thanks to Tony Culshaw for some of the photos.

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS!

[Valid RSS]


tomato ketchup , spoof , cannibal , crime , satire , dilemma , question , advice , agony aunt , problem page , parody , bones , relationships , bible , death