old woman with club
"I showed her!"
15.10.2008

I poisoned my life drawing rival

Forgive me aunties, for I have sinned,

My best friend and neighbour beat me at the life drawing category in a village art show, with her piece "John's wrinkles." I've been drawing John for many years and have never once won an award for it.

I'm afraid my jealousy lead me to act slightly on the dastardly side of sensible and I poisoned her by putting a toxic chemical in her rock cakes.

In just 36 hours this woman will die unless I administer an antidote. Should I save her life or let her die? She has just won a shiny trophy in the shape of an erect pork sword, so she'd be going out on a up note.

Sue (67), Devon, UK
15.10.2008
Dear Sue,

The other aunties may disagree, but I say totally save her life. And make sure the media knows about it. That way, you will get the fame and recognition you deserve.

If that doesn't make you feel better, though, steal the trophy.

18.10.2008
Dear Sue,

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I was washing my hair.

I say definitely save her.

Golly, the deadline hasn't passed has it?

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Agony Aunties
Auntie Kaitlin
American to the core
27 responses
Vatasha Rupert
Trendy and bendy
24 responses
Mrs Ginger
Just wants what's best
22 responses
Jayne Fott
Psychologist
21 responses
Brad the Lad
Charm is his middle name
20 responses
Professor Tommy
Practical & sympathetic
18 responses
Psychic Psindy
Mystical
17 responses
Uncle Luke
Talents yet to be unfolded
13 responses
Auntie Richbob
Retired
7 responses
Judge Gaw
Budding lawyer
4 responses
Dr Alice
Trainee medical student
2 responses

Models
Louise Anderson-Clemence
First rate model
Model with digitally removed breasts
Unnamed
Model with digitally removed breasts
With thanks to Tony Culshaw for some of the photos.

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life drawing , poison , art , crime , absolve , pork sword , friendship , agony aunt , sin , antidote , jealousy , advice , confess , confessions , cakes , confessional