Looking lonely
"Help me overcome my loneliness."
17.12.2007

Potions - Helping uglies bump uglies since...

Dear Aunties,

I'm ugly and charmless but very lonely. Do you have any spells or potions that would help me to pick up men?

Ugly and Charmless (21), UK
18.12.2007
Dear Ugly and Charmless,

This is definitely a time for magical intervention.

Fortunately a lot of love potions are now commercially available, for example Prada Infusion D'Iris and CKin2U. However if you are unable to obtain one of these then you might like to make your own. Take same lavender, some rosemary and some rose petals, grind together whilst chanting "Je parle des bollocks" (Celtic for "True love be with me") and dab behind your ears.

There are also many spells you can use. For example, when near an object of your affection, recite "Do you come her often?" "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" or "Do you like raisins? How about a date?."

You could also try the ancient pagan practices of washing your hair, shaving your armpits or cutting five inches off your skirt.

I've had some psychic visions and I can tell you're soon to experience some positive changes, perhaps to your scent. manner or appearance.

13.01.2009
Dear Ugly and Charmless,

The breast implant spell is quite effective. You begin it by writing a check and after a little minor surgery you will be able to spellbind men. Of course you will still be ugly but at least you'll have descent cans.

More Answered Problems
30.12.2009

How long before I get over my first love?

- Chloe (16), Taunton, UK
30.12.2009

I want to get a nose job to please my man

- Angel (21), Berkshire, UK
30.12.2009

I just feel so neglected

- Boopi (58), Barnstaple
30.12.2009

I wonder if my relationship problems ...

- Rocky (32), Stockwell
09.11.2009

How do I apologise to him?

- Arial (13), Calafornia
09.11.2009

Should I cut off my penis?

- Phil (12), Ohio
09.11.2009

Dream Help

- Arial
18.04.2009

How to succeed as a singer

- Moll (47), Cardiff, UK
17.04.2009

I found out he was a killer and shagged him anyway

- Rachel (19), Birmingham, UK
17.04.2009

Guilt over nanna's death

- confused (12)
Unanswered Problems
08.10.2009

Parents won't let me go to Prague

- Emily (14), NZ
18.07.2009

Are all men vain, or is it just me?

- Ashli (22), Nether Wallop
18.07.2009

Women walk all over me

- Matt (53), Glossop
18.07.2009

Puzzled and holey

- Puflet (48), Rivington
02.07.2009

I just can't seem to find a good man

- Abigail (25), Ambleside, Cumbria
02.07.2009

How to avoid falling for boyfriend's mates

- Jane (17), Diss, Norfolk
Recent Activity (...)
Vatasha Rupert replied to I just feel so neglected
Mrs Ginger replied to I just feel so neglected
Vatasha Rupert replied to I wonder if my relationship problems ...
Jayne Fott replied to How do I apologise to him?
Jayne Fott replied to Should I cut off my penis?
Brad the Lad replied to Should I cut off my penis?
Psychic Psindy replied to Dream Help
Frog_Kisser2000 commented on I'm in love with a sim

Agony Aunties
Mrs Ginger
Just wants what's best
33 responses
Auntie Kaitlin
American to the core
27 responses
Brad the Lad
Charm is his middle name
19 responses
Jayne Fott
Psychologist
19 responses
Professor Tommy
Practical & sympathetic
18 responses
Psychic Psindy
Mystical
13 responses
Uncle Luke
Talents yet to be unfolded
13 responses
Vatasha Rupert
Trendy and bendy
12 responses
Auntie Richbob
Retired
7 responses
Judge Gaw
Budding lawyer
4 responses
Dr Alice
Trainee medical student
2 responses

Models
Louise Anderson-Clemence
First rate model
Model with digitally removed breasts
Unnamed
Model with digitally removed breasts
With thanks to Tony Culshaw for some of the photos.

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS!

[Valid RSS]


potions , spells , question , lonely , spoof , pagan , magical , lavender , relationships , ugly , advice , agony aunt , parody , problem page , dilemma , supernatural