Showing problems answered by Brad the Lad
Looking lonely
"Help me overcome my loneliness."
17.12.2007

Potions - Helping uglies bump uglies since...

Dear Aunties,

I'm ugly and charmless but very lonely. Do you have any spells or potions that would help me to pick up men?

Ugly and Charmless (21), UK
18.12.2007
Dear Ugly and Charmless,

This is definitely a time for magical intervention.

Fortunately a lot of love potions are now commercially available, for example Prada Infusion D'Iris and CKin2U. However if you are unable to obtain one of these then you might like to make your own. Take same lavender, some rosemary and some rose petals, grind together whilst chanting "Je parle des bollocks" (Celtic for "True love be with me") and dab behind your ears.

There are also many spells you can use. For example, when near an object of your affection, recite "Do you come her often?" "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" or "Do you like raisins? How about a date?."

You could also try the ancient pagan practices of washing your hair, shaving your armpits or cutting five inches off your skirt.

I've had some psychic visions and I can tell you're soon to experience some positive changes, perhaps to your scent. manner or appearance.

13.01.2009
Dear Ugly and Charmless,

The breast implant spell is quite effective. You begin it by writing a check and after a little minor surgery you will be able to spellbind men. Of course you will still be ugly but at least you'll have descent cans.

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