From a medical perspective, I sympathise with your situation. At this time of year, people do not need to use contraceptives due to the unique high pressure weather conditions generated by Santa on his sleigh creating a barrier that inhibits sperm from ever penetrating an egg. This same mechanism also means it is impossible to get an STD at xmas, no matter how much unprotected sex with diseased whores one chooses to have.

However you seem to be one of the extremely rare individuals who have proved to be an exception to the rule and the only way this is possible is if you are sexually involved somehow in this barrier created by Santa. So your baby must have a very close connection to Santa and his forcefield.

It is clear to me therefore that the father of your baby is Rudolph.

So in future, be cautious whom your choose to festively fuck.