Whilst under extreme pressure just before my finals, I remembered something my gran used to tell me would increase my brain power, and devoured the entire contents of my girlfriend's tropical fish tank.
I know that sounds gluttonous but I took it one fish at a time - first I guzzled a guppy, then I slurped down some swordtails, next I knocked back a neon tetra before devouring a discus for dessert.
Sure enough, I got a first class honours but the shame of what I sacrificed to get it, is tearing me apart. Added to which my girlfriend still, to this day believes that her fish were killed in a power serge. Should I come clean?
Recent research suggests that omega 3 fatty acids, found in fish, can improve mental functioning. In fact there are many clinical trials taking place at the moment, in which participants are asked to swallow siamese fighting fish and then take a GCSE.
So relax, consumation of tropical fish is quite common place now, whether ethical or not.
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