Showing problems answered by Jayne Fott
thoughtful man
"Why am I cheating on the women of my dreams?"
25.09.2008

I have four girlfriends

Forgive me aunties, for I have sinned,

I have three homes, my mum's, my dad's and university. My girlfriends have all been very understanding about each other, agreeing that I'm too young and mobile to be tied to one woman.

However I have recently started dating a forth woman who I met on holiday. She also lives in the UK and we have plans to keep seeing each other.

I feel as though I'm betraying Anna, Emily and Kate every time I so much as text Holly, but it feels so good. Anna is good at scrabble, Emily makes excellent packed lunches, Kate is half-bilingual and Holly is none of those, so why am I risking what I have with my long term girlfriends?

Steve (20), Shropshire, UK
28.03.2009
Dear Steve,

It sounds to me as if you have been traumatised by something in your childhood. You say your parents live separately, so I suspect that they divorced when you were seven and a half, forcing you to choose between them before you were mature enough to make such a decision. This trauma has rendered you incapable of making decisions, hence you cannot decide which of your four girlfriends to let go.

It's time to realise that there was nothing you could do to prevent your father running off with your gym teacher, but there is something you can do about your current romantic situation. Ask yourself which girlfriend most closely resembles your mother - that is the one to chuck. You don't want to be dating somebody who could push their partner into the arms of a primary school teacher with her constant stamp-collecting obsession.

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