Tortured by a youth of today

Persecuted for being old

I'm a poor, elderly old dear who's being put through an ordeal most unpleasant during this delicate, valuable phase of my life. This trauma may well be the death of me.

A most obstinate young man is punishing me for racial discrimination when all I did was refuse him a job as my gardener, and then call him a paki and tell him to work in a newsagents. Then I bashed him over the head with a shovel screaming "Die scum, die!" Before finally reversing my car over his feet.

Now he's pressing charges for racial discrimination and actual bodily harm. The stress of the impending court case could be too much for my frail heart.

Why is this young man trying to hurt me? Doesn't he understand that I'm from a vulnerable demographic? Why should I suffer accusations that I am a racist just because he has a chip on his shoulder about being brown? If I can't decide who mows my lawn then what control do I have over this crazy world? Do you think I should sue him for being ageist?