Showing problems answered by Professor Tommy
Wife inspects husband's ear
"Can I grow new hubby from old one's ear?"
05.08.2008

Going It Aclone

Dear Aunties,

My husband is dying of cancer. If I keep his ear will scientists be able to clone me a new Alfie like they did with Mrs McKinney's dog?

June (57), Dorset, UK
05.08.2008
Dear June,

Yes. Well, no. The new Alfie will be like Alfie's identical twin. He won't know the same stuff, he won't necessarily fall in love with you, but he'll be very similar to the old Alfie. Oh, and you'll need to do this in some dodgy country where it's allowed / ignored.

06.08.2008
Dear June,

Your new litter of Alfies would be newborns. That means that you would be 74 by the time it was legal to do anything with them.

I know it must be distressing to have your hubby's life cut short but were feeding and changing him really the parts of old age that you were going to cherish?

Cloning will cost you in the region of £500,000 where as my skills as a medium come for as little as £500 per session. It would be over 19 years before our weekly meetings exceeded the cost of cloning and let's face it, at 57 that's a risk you can afford to take.

By all means keep his ear though.

23.09.2008
Dear June,

You know what's cheaper than cloning? Therapy.

One more thing: does he have a brother? Or sister, for that matter? I'm sure, that for that amount of money, you could get her to wear a fake beard and a strap-on?

Good luck!

PS Who is Mrs Mckinney? Was she married to the dog???

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