Showing problems answered by Professor Tommy
See also Herbert Fortnightly
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"Should I keep lying to my woman?"
10.08.2008

Telling Porkies - Love or glory?

Dear Aunties,

There are only two things that are important to me in this world: my girlfriend Phoebe and biggest eater competitions.

I recently came top in my regional pork pie eating contest and have secured a place in the nationals. However I told Phoebe, who is Jewish, that I had stopped eating pork, and I have done, apart from contests and training.

Will I have to choose between my two great passions? What would you do in my situation?

Reply Edit
Nick (20), Lincolnshire, UK
11.08.2008
Dear Nick,

It seems to me you have two separate challenges: the first is to train yourself up in readiness for the national contest; the second is to stop Phoebe worrying about how kosher you are.

My recommendation is to eat Phoebe, thus killing two birds with one stone.

from Professor Tommy
Tags: relationships
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