If she's survived poison, disease, road traffic accidents and stabbing, she may be immortal. There tend to be nasty consequences for humans who mess about with the gods: I'd stay with her and be nice.
Showing problems answered by Professor Tommy
See also Herbert Fortnightly
16.08.2008
Bird just won't croak
Dear Aunties,
Despite my best efforts, my girlfriend just won't die. I've tried sneaking poison into her food, infecting her with diseases, pushing her in front of moving vehicles and carving her up with a turkey knife, but she always manages to pull through.
I can't stand going out with her; she does my head in and want to move on but don't want to break up because I'm afraid of hurting her.
Bernard (27), Suffolk, UK
Tags: relationships, death
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