Showing problems answered by Uncle Luke
Embarrassed
"Humiliation looms!"
12.12.2007

Cracking fun - Orgasm problem

Dear Aunties,

I orgasm whenever I hear a Christmas cracker. Why is this and how can I stop it from happening before I embarrass myself?

Jenny (23), Norfolk, UK
13.12.2007
Dear Jenny,

Many seem to have this problem around the holidays. Particularly those who have unfortunately chosen men who orgasm immediately after the pull.

Suggestion... find a man with a drinking problem and invest in shower massage handle.

13.09.2008
Dear Jenny,

A different suggestion: do not spend Christmas around family. Instead, open an 'Alternative' sex club, for all those with similar holiday-related fetishes. A couple that come to mind: "Santa Claus will make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day", "Christmas pudding sets my crotch on fire" or the ever popular "I'll be your run-run rudolph if you'll suck on my Chrismtas baubles."

Would suggest charging £10 entry with free Christmas-tree shaped butt plug. Happy Holidays!

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