Showing problems answered by Vatasha Rupert
tearing hair out
"Killing is wrong - but how do I tell him?"
11.04.2009

I found out he was a killer and shagged him anyway

Dear Aunties,

I met a man at a club and as we were leaving, an old guy tried to grab my arse and so my man thumped him in the gob. I was so turned on by his readiness to protect me that I went back with him.

As I undressed him I said "Nice body!" and he thought I was referring to the corpse he'd hidden in his closet, and so he brought it out to show me, with pride!

Admittedly that is the point where I should have gone home, but I was impressed by his openness and a little turned on by the bad guy factor. So I stayed.

The next day I realised with horror, that my failure to leave when the corpse came out, may have given him the idea that murdering people is OK. Is there a perfect text that will let him know that killing is wrong, without jeopardising my chances of a second date?

Rachel (19), Birmingham, UK
11.04.2009
Dear Rachel,

Do not worry Rachel. Sleeping with a killer does make you a bad person but there are ways to regain some moral standing. For example, why don't you shag a copper or even a vicar?

17.04.2009
Dear Rachel,

I've suggested this to others before, but it works here too: get yourself on a talk show. That's what we'd do in the States. It'll get you a book or a movie deal, as well as lots of advice for what you should do about your predicament.

More Answered Problems
30.01.2011

Will hubbie die if I don't pluck hairline?

- Rebecca (86), Glasgow, UK
30.12.2009

I just feel so neglected

- Boopi (58), Barnstaple
30.12.2009

I wonder if my relationship problems ...

- Rocky (32), Stockwell
18.04.2009

How to succeed as a singer

- Moll (47), Cardiff, UK
11.04.2009

Addicted to stupid website

- Amanda (23), Middlesex, UK
01.04.2009

i slept with my boyfriend's best friend

- confused (18), lancs
21.03.2009

Help! I'm stuck to an epilator!

- Mo (33), Kent, UK
14.01.2009

Murderer not granted parole to appear on Big Brother

- Nettie Vanderwho (32), Broadmore Hospital, UK
14.01.2009

The perils of meticulous dental hygiene

- Thimon (17), Thailisbury, UK
14.01.2009

Faking own death - Dos and Don'ts

- Simon (42), Cardiff, UK
14.01.2009

I can't find furry cup for pen pal

- Lena (15), My Country
13.01.2009

I didn't kiss a girl and like it

- Cassie (15), Surrey, UK
13.01.2009

Auntie Richbob's Ghost

- A fan
13.01.2009

A load of bull - Is risque sex a danger?

- Maggie (45), Somerset, UK
07.01.2009

Scared driving instructor doesn't return my crush

- Angela (24), Cumbria, UK
30.12.2008

All my paws were amputated!

- Celina (28), Cumbria, UK
01.12.2008

I ate most of my children

- Janet (48), Moray, UK
11.11.2008

I want homosexual goats to marry children

- Plecta Botheray (21), California, UK
03.11.2008

Boyfriend stole my pubes

- Esme (18), Leicestershire
28.09.2008

I want my breast milk made into ice cream

- Gemma (23), Berwickshire, UK
31.07.2008

Marshmonster - What is that creature?

- Phalice Cupcake (25), Bulging
Recent Activity (...)
Ms Nora Bone commented on Help with murder aftermath
Igor commented on Pork like a pirate day
Dick Scratcher commented on Should I cut off my penis?
Peppersalt commented on Can I sell my leg hair?
Peppersalt commented on How to stop customers leaving Vordafone
Peppersalt commented on Parents won't let me go to Prague
john coolie says commented on Should I cut off my penis?
Jayne Fott replied to My boyfriend honks my boobs
Psychic Psindy replied to Can I sell my leg?

Agony Aunties
Auntie Kaitlin
American to the core
27 responses
Vatasha Rupert
Trendy and bendy
24 responses
Mrs Ginger
Just wants what's best
22 responses
Jayne Fott
Psychologist
21 responses
Brad the Lad
Charm is his middle name
20 responses
Professor Tommy
Practical & sympathetic
18 responses
Psychic Psindy
Mystical
17 responses
Uncle Luke
Talents yet to be unfolded
13 responses
Auntie Richbob
Retired
7 responses
Judge Gaw
Budding lawyer
4 responses
Dr Alice
Trainee medical student
2 responses

Models
Louise Anderson-Clemence
First rate model
Model with digitally removed breasts
Unnamed
Model with digitally removed breasts
With thanks to Tony Culshaw for some of the photos.

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS!

[Valid RSS]


dilemma , question , relationships , spoof , satire , agony aunt , gob , killer , sex , parody , thump , problem page , corpse , closet , advice , murder