Client Index

A fan

1 problem
Auntie Richbob's Ghost

A Nonny Mouse

1 problem
Armless

Abi from London

1 problem
Add God as Friend - Modern Prayer

Abigail from Ambleside, Cumbria

1 problem
I just can't seem to find a good man

Alison from Hampshire, UK

1 problem
What causes lesbianism? Can it be fixed?

Alison from Kentucky, US

1 problem
Help me improve my text life

Amanda from Middlesex, UK

1 problem
Addicted to stupid website

A.N. Executive from London

1 problem
Key to tabloid success?

Angel from Berkshire, UK

1 problem
I want to get a nose job to please my man

Angela from Cumbria, UK

1 problem
Scared driving instructor doesn't return my crush

Anna from London

1 problem
Who is the Christmas father?

Anonymous

15 problems
I don't have enough problems; Charades brings me out in hives; I like being screwed by boyfriend's nose; Sending real problems to fake problem page; I'd give an arm and a leg to lose weight; I...

Anonymous from Cornwall, UK

1 problem
People sit on the beach where I walk my dog

Anonymous from New Orleans

1 problem
Convert to lesbianism? No thanks!

Anonymous from Oxford, UK

1 problem
Why am I pulling coffee-filled all-nighters?

Anonymous from Perthshire, UK

1 problem
I doinked a colleague and now I feel real bad

Anonymous from UK

1 problem
Falling Star

Arial

1 problem
Dream Help

Arial from Calafornia

1 problem
How do I apologise to him?

Ashli from Nether Wallop

1 problem
Are all men vain, or is it just me?

Auntie Kaitlin from USA! USA! USA!

1 problem
Hit the what?

Barbs

1 problem
Save my documentary

Barry from Wales

1 problem
Soul Sister - Can widower start dating again?

Beelzebub from Hell

1 problem
The Big Question

Bernard from Suffolk, UK

3 problems
Make my girlfriend dump me; Bird just won't croak; Girlfriend has bird flu

Bert from Cumbria

1 problem
I have a singing groinal growth

Bill from Isle of Wight

1 problem
Girlfriend likes dicks with a buzz

Blazer Ghough from Youthamptin

1 problem
Back to basics - Mortifying problem

Bobby from Glasgow, UK

1 problem
Wife still breastfeeding

Boopi from Barnstaple

1 problem
I just feel so neglected

Brad from Warwickshire

1 problem
Ban minority group marriage?

Carl from Essex, UK

1 problem
Help with murder aftermath

Cassie from Surrey, UK

1 problem
I didn't kiss a girl and like it

Charles Flippery from Swanage, UK

1 problem
Why do I prefer water?

Cherie from Hertfordshire, UK

2 problems
Cheap Burial; Have a Heart - Will lover make it?

Chloe from Taunton, UK

1 problem
How long before I get over my first love?

Chloe from Truro, UK

1 problem
Wit doesn't win fair boy

Christianna from Yorkshire, UK

1 problem
Don't forget to water my tomatoes

confused

2 problems
Guilt over nanna's death; My best mate's cyber boyfriend wants me!

confused from lancs

1 problem
i slept with my boyfriend's best friend

Coven Toilet from Oxford, UK

1 problem
I have to watch gay men shagging weekly

Crewenna Penhalluric from Penzance

1 problem
Brother has emmit girlfriend

Danny from UK

1 problem
How to lose my granny tranny reputation

Debbie from Dorset, UK

1 problem
Life, liberty and the pursuit of hamsters

Digbert from Berkshire, UK

1 problem
Should I put threesome on resume?

Diggory from Suffolk, UK

1 problem
Might I have a virus?

Draco from Yorkshire, UK

1 problem
Can Vampire give blood?

Dwain from London

1 problem
Fund raising for my poor invalid child

Eddie from London, UK

1 problem
I get off on the Queen's Speech

Edna Eversham from Dorest, UK

1 problem
I can't seem to impress my man

Emily from NZ

1 problem
Parents won't let me go to Prague

Emma from Kent, UK

1 problem
Should I abort dangerous alien foetus?

Erica from Avon, UK

1 problem
Boyfriend's Sperm Turns Me Invisible

Esme from Leicestershire

1 problem
Boyfriend stole my pubes

Ewegenie from London, UK

1 problem
My boyfriend is turned on by sheep porn

Gail from England

1 problem
Persecuted for being old

Gary from Manchester, UK

1 problem
Relocation Relocation Relocation (of my penis)

Gemma from Berwickshire, UK

1 problem
I want my breast milk made into ice cream

George from Somerset

1 problem
Housemates' cruel incest and fisting prank

Georgina from Lincolnshire, UK

1 problem
Best friend is dating a cannibal

Gerald from Glasgow

1 problem
Ashamed of my own family

Ginny from Oxford, UK

1 problem
Walking around in my knickers

Gordo from Merseyside, UK

1 problem
I blew up a dog

Graham from Berkshire, UK

1 problem
Who can I mock?

Guy

1 problem
Intersex Friendships

H Lehman from US

1 problem
Credit Crunch - Money saving tips

Hannah from Surrey, UK

1 problem
Pottery rival drives me crazy

Harv from London

1 problem
Serial Killer Art

Hazel from Warwickshire, UK

1 problem
I'm in love with best friend's wardrobe

Jade Goody from UK

1 problem
Hiding truth about my cancer

James from Coventry, UK

1 problem
A-Level Nightmares

Jane from Diss, Norfolk

1 problem
How to avoid falling for boyfriend's mates

Janet from Moray, UK

1 problem
I ate most of my children

Jayne from Toronto, Canada

1 problem
Will my poor luck with men change?

Jennifer from Dublin, Ireland

1 problem
Could hormone imbalance cause lesbianism

Jenny from Devon, UK

1 problem
Don't SuperPoke My Bloke

Jenny from Norfolk, UK

1 problem
Cracking fun - Orgasm problem

Jessop Frydge from Blimming Lambury

1 problem
Formal complaint - Poetic Pergotry

Jim from London

1 problem
Dating Protocol - When to tell girlfriend awful truth?

John from North-West Lower Crockin

1 problem
Not a load of bollocks

Julie from London

1 problem
Terrorism concerns at Christmas

June from Dorset, UK

1 problem
Going It Aclone

Karen from London, UK

1 problem
Second Racism

Karen from Middlesex, UK

1 problem
Could the world ever be problem free?

Keira from Somerset, UK

1 problem
Did best friend spill my cucumber love secret?

Kelly Kobwittle from Pembrokeshire, UK

1 problem
How bad can sex get?

Kyle from Tipperary, Ireland

1 problem
Toasting to eternal life

Lady G from Oxfordshire, UK

1 problem
Make-up tips to reduce appearance of face

Lara from Oxford, UK

1 problem
I need writer's block and I need it now

Lauryn from Glamorgan

1 problem
I tortured arachnids

Lena from My Country

4 problems
Pen pal is from Lesbos; Pen pal prefers to punt from the Cambridge end; Pen pal wants to partake in violent sports; I can't find furry cup for pen pal

Little Korean Girl

1 problem
Ginger Sneers - Is hair colour linked to IQ?

Lottie from Kent, UK

1 problem
I kissed a man who isn't my husband

Lucy from Berkshire

1 problem
Coming Out to Mum

Lynn from Edinburgh

1 problem
Marital Squabbles - Will he come back to me?

Maggie from Somerset, UK

1 problem
A load of bull - Is risque sex a danger?

Mandy from Kent, UK

1 problem
I'm in love with myself

Marcus from Bracknell, UK

1 problem
How to stop customers leaving Vordafone

Marge from Orkney Isles

1 problem
Ogliterate - Gary Glitter Awareness Campaign

Maria from Bradford, UK

1 problem
Revirgination surgery - will it put my life back on track?

Mario from London, UK

1 problem
Can I prepare to be a good lover?

Martin from Blackpool, UK

1 problem
Girlfriend is pussy mad

Martin from Reading, UK

1 problem
Girlfriend can be a little aggressive at times

Martin from Warwickshire

1 problem
I wasn't snowed in!

Mary from London, UK

1 problem
Is Russell Brand a Virgin?

Mary from Nazareth

1 problem
Child Support

Matt from Glossop

1 problem
Women walk all over me

Maureen from Yorkshire, UK

1 problem
I see dead people

Mavis from The Cotswolds

1 problem
Paranoia, I'm sure - Is hubbie cheating?

Max Brainhog from Reading, UK

1 problem
Will I be exploited by knowledge terrorists

May from Coventry, UK

1 problem
Seedy ways for lesbians to meat

MBA from Nigeria

1 problem
Which four wives do I keep?

Melody from Hampshire, UK

1 problem
Beautiful sex with my teacher

Mike from Staffordshire, UK

1 problem
I've been secretly watching Match of the Day

Mildred from Surrey, UK

1 problem
A formal complaint about your language

Mo from Kent, UK

1 problem
Help! I'm stuck to an epilator!

Moiralaka Vontonpaka from Humperside, UK

1 problem
Will my dying lover go back to his wife in heaven?

Moll from Cardiff, UK

1 problem
How to succeed as a singer

Molly from Cumbria, UK

1 problem
My water pipes talk to me

Mr Tinyone from London, UK

1 problem
Fiance won't take my name

Mrs Ginger from Oxford, UK

1 problem
Curiosity kills

Naive Catholic

1 problem
Will marriage prevent spread of HIV?

Nettie from Kent, UK

1 problem
Can I sell my leg hair?

Nettie Vanderwho from Broadmore Hospital, UK

1 problem
Murderer not granted parole to appear on Big Brother

Nick from Lincolnshire, UK

1 problem
Telling Porkies - Love or glory?

Nick from London, UK

1 problem
My girlfiend is trying to kill me

Nicki from Devon, UK

1 problem
Recycling disposable pants

Nigel from Oxford

1 problem
Dead Keen - How to find a dead body

Nola the Nobbler

1 problem
I sabotage best friend's love life

Norbert from Manchester, UK

1 problem
Girlfriend teases other guys

Peg from North-West Lower Crockin

1 problem
Hubby won't make love anymore

Peggy from London, UK

1 problem
I'm not upset about Jade's death!

Perry Munchburger from Didcot, UK

1 problem
Help? Maybe.... Yeah i think so

Pete from London, UK

1 problem
My fetish for wookiee sex

Pete from Pembrokeshire, Wales

1 problem
I'm too hetero for my leather pants

Petunia Whistlecunt from Westmorland, UK

1 problem
I'm in love with a sim

Phalice Cupcake from Bulging

1 problem
Marshmonster - What is that creature?

Phil from Ohio

1 problem
Should I cut off my penis?

Plecta Botheray from California, UK

1 problem
I want homosexual goats to marry children

Prudilocks from Cornwall, UK

1 problem
Boyfriend caught with pants off

Puflet from Rivington

1 problem
Puzzled and holey

Rachel from Birmingham, UK

1 problem
I found out he was a killer and shagged him anyway

Rebecca from Glasgow, UK

1 problem
Will hubbie die if I don't pluck hairline?

Rita from Kent, UK

1 problem
I only fancy married men

Robin from Penzance

1 problem
Pork like a pirate day

Robin from Surrey

1 problem
I think I'm It

Rocky from Stockwell

1 problem
I wonder if my relationship problems ...

Roger from Tumbridge Wells, UK

1 problem
Fish give you brains

Ryan from Kent, UK

1 problem
Wife doesn't understand me

Sabina from Reading, UK

1 problem
I have too many eyebrows!

Samuel from New York, US

1 problem
I pretended to die in 9/11 and now I want my old life back

Sandy Mansion from Bristol, UK

1 problem
Daughter scared of blacks

Sarah

1 problem
Perfection - Can it be beaten?

Sarah from Cumberland, UK

1 problem
Who will I marry?

Sarah from Surrey, UK

1 problem
Should I date known killer?

SC from Oxford, UK

4 problems
Gingers are lesbians, why; Blue Blood - Will kids inherit freak hair; Shyness; Christmas Spirit

Sid from Cambourne, UK

1 problem
I dropped litter

Simon from Birmingham, UK

1 problem
Why is former lover stalking me?

Simon from Cardiff, UK

1 problem
Faking own death - Dos and Don'ts

Simon from London

1 problem
Too Prude to Print

Spurs Fan from North London

1 problem
My boyfriend supports The Arse

Steve from Shropshire, UK

1 problem
I have four girlfriends

Steven from Yorkshire, UK

1 problem
Dead cock - donating body to science with dignity

Sue from Devon, UK

1 problem
I poisoned my life drawing rival

Susan from London

1 problem
I'm Afraid of Naked People

Ted

1 problem
Over my undead body - Girlfriend is a zombie

Thimon from Thailisbury, UK

1 problem
The perils of meticulous dental hygiene

Toby from Bristol, UK

1 problem
I blue my marriage

Toby from London

1 problem
Digital Camera Removes Clothes

TonightsTheNight from Wetlands

1 problem
Unwanted drainage

Tory Mum from Surrey, UK

1 problem
My kid suddenly started supporting the labour party

Tracey from Surrey, UK

1 problem
Guilt free cheating #1 - The Hen Party

Ugly and Charmless from UK

1 problem
Potions - Helping uglies bump uglies since...

Will from Birmingham, UK

1 problem
Which sister's the mum?

Worried from Cowley

1 problem
Poo-poo Boo-boo - I'm a tortured victim!
Recent Activity (...)
Vatasha Rupert replied to I just feel so neglected
Mrs Ginger replied to I just feel so neglected
Vatasha Rupert replied to I wonder if my relationship problems ...
Jayne Fott replied to How do I apologise to him?
Jayne Fott replied to Should I cut off my penis?
Brad the Lad replied to Should I cut off my penis?
Psychic Psindy replied to Dream Help
Frog_Kisser2000 commented on I'm in love with a sim

Agony Aunties
Mrs Ginger
Just wants what's best
33 responses
Auntie Kaitlin
American to the core
27 responses
Brad the Lad
Charm is his middle name
19 responses
Jayne Fott
Psychologist
19 responses
Professor Tommy
Practical & sympathetic
18 responses
Psychic Psindy
Mystical
13 responses
Uncle Luke
Talents yet to be unfolded
13 responses
Vatasha Rupert
Trendy and bendy
12 responses
Auntie Richbob
Retired
7 responses
Judge Gaw
Budding lawyer
4 responses
Dr Alice
Trainee medical student
2 responses

Models
Louise Anderson-Clemence
First rate model
Model with digitally removed breasts
Unnamed
Model with digitally removed breasts
With thanks to Tony Culshaw for some of the photos.

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nicki , mr tinyone , nola the nobbler , melody , naive catholic , peg , mo , moiralaka vontonpaka , mildred , nigel , moll , mike , norbert , mrs ginger , nettie , molly