"She tricks him into being happy."

Brother has emmit girlfriend

Ever since God set Tristan and Demelza in The Garden of Cotehele, my ancestors have believed in the Cornish cause. We have never been tainted with the blood of anyone from east or the Tamer and would like to keep it that way.

My brother, the black seagull of the family, went away to university in Plymouth and returned home this summer with a girlfriend who claims to be from Bude. However her passport says that she is British and her toes are so distinctly unwebbed that she can even wear flip flops!

As a little test I shouted "Moaz aman Brea Cambern, toaz trea!" when she got up this morning ("Going up Cambourne Hill Coming Down") and she just looked at me as if I was a crazy woman. I fear the worst.

We are not racist people, we just hate emmits and do not want them under our roof. My brother does seem happy but I believe she has put a Devonian spell on him. How can I break it?

Kernow bys vickan!