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badly masculinised woman with tache
"I must throw my baby girl the perfect party."
07.09.2008

Fund raising for my poor invalid child

Dear Aunties,

I'm a single dad who loves his daughter but so far this year my baby girl has suffered arthritis, prostate cancer and athlete's foot. Before Christmas she had both legs amputated at the knees, and last Easter she lost both of her parents. Because she's had such a rough time of it I would really like to throw her a massive birthday party. Does your website gift money to well deserving causes? About £13,500 should cover it.

Dwain (34), London
P.S. She's also expressed a dying wish to meet Jenna Jameson. Can that be arranged?
08.09.2008
Dear Dwain,

I'd be glad to contribute, but as I am American and you are British, one of us will probably end up getting taxed quite heavily for the transaction. Add to that the fact that the dollar is taking a beating against the pound, it would probably end up that you would have to pay me for me to pay you. So, ummmm, no can do, I'm afraid.

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