Showing problems tagged with health
Wife inspects husband's ear
"Can I grow new hubby from old one's ear?"
05.08.2008

Going It Aclone

Dear Aunties,

My husband is dying of cancer. If I keep his ear will scientists be able to clone me a new Alfie like they did with Mrs McKinney's dog?

June (57), Dorset, UK
05.08.2008
Dear June,

Yes. Well, no. The new Alfie will be like Alfie's identical twin. He won't know the same stuff, he won't necessarily fall in love with you, but he'll be very similar to the old Alfie. Oh, and you'll need to do this in some dodgy country where it's allowed / ignored.

06.08.2008
Dear June,

Your new litter of Alfies would be newborns. That means that you would be 74 by the time it was legal to do anything with them.

I know it must be distressing to have your hubby's life cut short but were feeding and changing him really the parts of old age that you were going to cherish?

Cloning will cost you in the region of £500,000 where as my skills as a medium come for as little as £500 per session. It would be over 19 years before our weekly meetings exceeded the cost of cloning and let's face it, at 57 that's a risk you can afford to take.

By all means keep his ear though.

23.09.2008
Dear June,

You know what's cheaper than cloning? Therapy.

One more thing: does he have a brother? Or sister, for that matter? I'm sure, that for that amount of money, you could get her to wear a fake beard and a strap-on?

Good luck!

PS Who is Mrs Mckinney? Was she married to the dog???

More Answered Problems
11.04.2009

Unwanted drainage

- TonightsTheNight (28), Wetlands
21.03.2009

Help! I'm stuck to an epilator!

- Mo (33), Kent, UK
14.01.2009

The perils of meticulous dental hygiene

- Thimon (17), Thailisbury, UK
13.01.2009

Have a Heart - Will lover make it?

- Cherie (34), Hertfordshire, UK
07.01.2009

Walking around in my knickers

- Ginny (27), Oxford, UK
30.12.2008

All my paws were amputated!

- Celina (28), Cumbria, UK
15.12.2008

Might I have a virus?

- Diggory (19), Suffolk, UK
23.10.2008

I smell

- Stinky McStink (57), Krakow, Poland
24.09.2008

Relocation Relocation Relocation (of my penis)

- Gary (33), Manchester, UK
23.09.2008

Armless

- A Nonny Mouse
23.09.2008

I'm Afraid of Naked People

- Susan (24), London
14.09.2008

Should I abort dangerous alien foetus?

- Emma (29), Kent, UK
13.09.2008

I need writer's block and I need it now

- Lara (24), Oxford, UK
25.08.2008

Feeling Chick - Debilitating Phobia

- Anonymous
24.08.2008

Poo-poo Boo-boo - I'm a tortured victim!

- Worried (19), Cowley
06.08.2008

Blue Blood - Will kids inherit freak hair?

- SC (28), Oxford, UK
03.08.2008

Back to basics - Mortifying problem

- Blazer Ghough (33), Youthamptin
03.08.2008

Formal complaint - Poetic Pergotry

- Jessop Frydge (12), Blimming Lambury
01.08.2008

Party pees

- Leviathana B'nana (45), Great Scottsburgh
Unanswered Problems
28.03.2009

Help with murder aftermath

- Carl (37), Essex, UK
27.03.2009

Will marriage prevent spread of HIV?

- Naive Catholic (17)
21.03.2009

Why am I pulling coffee-filled all-nighters?

- Anonymous (23), Oxford, UK
28.11.2008

I have a singing groinal growth

- Bert (47), Cumbria
27.09.2008

Can Vampire give blood?

- Draco (31), Yorkshire, UK
15.09.2008

Hiding truth about my cancer

- Jade Goody (27), UK
Recent Activity (...)
Peppersalt commented on Can I sell my leg hair?
Peppersalt commented on How to stop customers leaving Vordafone
Peppersalt commented on Parents won't let me go to Prague
john coolie says commented on Should I cut off my penis?
Jayne Fott replied to My boyfriend honks my boobs
Psychic Psindy replied to Can I sell my leg?
Vatasha Rupert replied to Will hubbie die if I don't pluck hairline?
Psychic Psindy replied to How to avoid falling for boyfriend's mates

Agony Aunties
Auntie Kaitlin
American to the core
27 responses
Vatasha Rupert
Trendy and bendy
24 responses
Mrs Ginger
Just wants what's best
22 responses
Jayne Fott
Psychologist
21 responses
Brad the Lad
Charm is his middle name
20 responses
Professor Tommy
Practical & sympathetic
18 responses
Psychic Psindy
Mystical
17 responses
Uncle Luke
Talents yet to be unfolded
13 responses
Auntie Richbob
Retired
7 responses
Judge Gaw
Budding lawyer
4 responses
Dr Alice
Trainee medical student
2 responses

Models
Louise Anderson-Clemence
First rate model
Model with digitally removed breasts
Unnamed
Model with digitally removed breasts
With thanks to Tony Culshaw for some of the photos.

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS!

[Valid RSS]


advice , husband , health , cloning , agony aunt , identical twin , ear , dilemma , hubby , death , current affairs , science , scientists , medium , clone , dog