My girlfriend kissed a girl and she liked it

Dear Aunties,

My girlfriend kissed a girl and then wrote a hit single about how much she liked it.

Why do I feel insecure? Is it because I'm jealous of her success?

Reply Edit

Anonymous

16.08.2008

Dear Anonymous,

Don't worry, everybody knows that two girls kissing is meaningless. They're only brave enough to do it when they've had a drink, and you can't read much into anything anybody's ever done when their inhibitions were lowered.

If she's written a song about it, then your girlfriend has obviously noticed that lesbianism is a turn on for men and is becoming better attuned to your desires. You should thank her for giving you wank fodder.

Next time, ask for pictures.

from Vatasha Rupert

24.09.2008

Dear Anonymous,

Why not do a follow-up single?

Anyone remember that couple (supposedly) who released the song YEARS ago about the guy having cheated on her or something... Well that was the same song, same tune, but the two of them had different words. The world (ie Uncle Luke) hated them for doing it, but they made a lot of money. Your options include, but are not limited to:

"She kissed a girl and she liked it" (a melancholic exposition of the folorn tale of a broken heart)

"She kissed a girl and I liked it" (if you had happy time about it on your own later)

"She kissed a girl and then licked it" (if the kissing developed into something more)

And the slightly more sinister:

"She kissed a girl and I killed them"

Good luck!

from Uncle Luke

24.09.2008

Dear Anonymous,

I must say that I concur with Uncle Luke on this one. It is, of course, the way that Sean "Puff Daddy/Puffy/P. Diddy" Combs got so famous - he rereleased songs that were basically the same song, just with him rapping on top of the original track. And look at the sweet lifestyle he lives now. See you at the top of the charts!

from Auntie Kaitlin