I like masterbating alot. I can't stop. I do it to almost everything. I've been thing about cutting off my penis. What do I do?

I had one of my bollocks removed in 1999 and I haven't found the courage to tell my wife yet because I think she will leave me.

My bollocks always seemed to be her favourite part of my...

The council has offered me a generous sum of money to move my penis to make way for a new dual carriage way. I'm happy with the arrangement in principle but don't know where I would put it....