I am a very straight man and have never had a homosexual feeling in my life. I lift weights and chug pints. I'm so hetero that gay men weep and women faint with anticipation.

Just out of...

I'm a 15 year old girl and I don't want to kiss another girl. I'm not even the slightest bit curious and I don't want to taste a cherry chapstick.

If I got brave and lost my discretion...

I have a dream! I dream of a time when kids can marry their own father, or a goat! I want to take my views into schools and raise the next generation to be homosexuals. I want to burn churches...

My girlfriend kissed a girl and then wrote a hit single about how much she liked it.

Why do I feel insecure? Is it because I'm jealous of her success?

I believe a coven of English lesbians have hatched a plan to turn me into a lesbian. I am not entirely happy with their plotting. What kinds of spells and trickery should I prepare myself for?

My friend is making slanderous comments about the sexual orientation of my cat. I will love my cat unconditionally but I am afraid that he'll be rejected by feline society and ridiculed by...