"How can I give bollocks news to my wife?"
10.08.2008
Dear Aunties,
I had one of my bollocks removed in 1999 and I haven't found the courage to tell my wife yet because I think she will leave me.
My bollocks always seemed to be her favourite part of my body. They had a name ('The Dicky Birds') and my penis didn't.
I'm worried that she'll leave me when I tell her about Paul. Will Peter be enough for her?
John (42), North-West Lower Crockin
11.04.2009
Dear John,
You clearly have issues to do with rejection. The thing to remember is that a bollock leaving you does not necasserily mean that others will follow.
Choose a name for your penis and respect for it will follow. May I suggest "The Wolf" as in "Peter and the Wolf"?